Christmas came in like a wrecking ball! I have to be honest, I was getting a little worried for a minute as to if I would be conscious during the festivities. After my last chemo treatment, it was lookin a little grim. I was just so so sick, and there was no amount of will to make my side effects disappear. I just kept thinking about all the things I had left to do, days leading up to Christmas. Chris didn’t take holiday leave this year because we are saving up as much vacation time as possible for the unknown of next year, so I was basically watching my entire house fall apart, while simultaneously overthinking the entire Christmas process.
When in reality I knew none of it really mattered.
I was putting pressure on myself to make this the best Christmas for the kids because they have been through so much these last few months. I wanted so badly for everyone to forget the sickness, or the “just let mom rest” mentality. I didn’t want to rest, quite frankly I am so sick of resting. Which is why the magic of Christmas was the best distraction for us all. Once I regained some energy I was in full force Christmas mode! Make all the holiday treats. Drive around to see all the Christmas lights. Eat all the cheese and bread. And wrap all the gifts. Oh, and sneak in a glass of wine. Don’t tell my doctors….but I mean….I already have cancer and I am on no other medication other than chemo trying to poison me, so WINE!
The Christmas anticipation was building, and I think I was more excited for Christmas morning than the kids because I was the first one up! I thought for sure one of the kids would be running into our room at any minute, but there I sat for 30 minutes and then I decided to use my time wisely….and put some eyebrows on! Ha!
And then you know how the story goes. The present opening started and it was over in the blink of an eye. Then everyone scattered to different corners of the house, only to be seen when platters of food hit the table.
It all meant so much more this year. A feeling I hope I never forget. One that keeps me grateful and forever humble.
And now, if you will excuse me, I am going to go continue to eat bowls of broccoli and rid myself of the 10 lbs of cheese I consumed in about three days! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, what was your favorite part this year?